Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and then right after that, we’re pounded with a whole bunch of major shopping days.  So, to help out my fellow ladies, I’ve put together a little guide for you to share with the man in your life however you want so he knows what gifts NOT to buy you. You can print it out and leave it under his pillow or leave your computer screen up or go so far as to literally shove this in his face.  Do what you have to do!

Housework stuff

Never give the lady in your life an appliance or something that she would use to do housework.  I still remember the guy who gave me a set of garbage cans for Christmas.  He was out of my life before the New Year.  Getting housework stuff makes us mad.  You will pay.

Stuff in bulk

A guy once noticed the type of deodorant I wear and for Christmas gave me, no joke, like 15 of the same type of deodorant. Just because a woman says she likes something doesn’t mean it’s okay to give it to her in bulk.  Unless it’s coffee.

Gifts that are really for you

Think you’re being a sly dog by giving your woman a new TV?  Not so fast buddy.  We’re onto you.  We know exactly why you’ve bought us a TV.  It’s so you can watch it and because it’s something you really want for yourself.  If you’re going to end up using the gift more than we are, put it down and walk away and nobody will get hurt.

Granny lingerie

If it’s made of flannel or has attached feet and a trapdoor don’t even think about it.  Buying your lady something like that gives her the idea you don’t consider her beautiful.  Trust me when I say it’s important to make her feel beautiful.  The more beautiful you make her feel, the happier she will be and the happier she is, the better life will be for you.

Cheap jewelry

If you want to embarrass yourself, then definitely pick up that cubic zirconia jewelry from the TV shopping network.  Your lady will show it off to her friends who will laugh and gossip about how you’re so cheap you couldn’t get her the real stuff.  If you can’t afford the real stuff, we understand.  Just don’t try to pass off something cheap for the real deal because you’ll be the one who looks like a fool in the end.

Weight loss/management

You should know better.  Shame on you for even thinking about it!


Yes, women like money, but when you hand over cash as a Christmas present, it’s almost as though you’re saying “I love you but I was too lazy to go buy you a present.”


You might think a singing fish or a bacon Christmas ornament is hilarious, but it’s pretty much a given that she will not be impressed. Stay away from gag gifts unless she’s told you of a specific one she wants, but even then, make sure you give her something in addition so she doesn’t feel like you view her as a joke.

On the fly gifts

Never give her a something you grabbed at a gas station.  I don’t drink soda and I don’t like pretzels.  One year I got both.  And he tried to pretend he got them for me.  I’m not that stupid and neither is your lady.

By the way, in NO way am I heartless or wrapped up in material things.  I actually rather give than get presents, but I've had my share of disappointments and wanna help you prevent yourself from disappointing your lady.  Trust me when I say the happier your lady is, the happier you will be.