Shortstack, human armrest, midget (hate that one), vertically challenged, shorty, short stuff, ankle-biter, little person, tiny. If you've ever been called any of these things you've probably laughed and rolled your eyes but in reality, the names get a little old, don't they?

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I have been called every one of those names for as long as I can remember. My driver's license says that I'm five feet, one inch but that's being generous. At my last doctor's appointment, I was measured to stand at five feet tall.

I've been at my full height since I was in junior high school and as a pre-teen and teen, I would lay in bed at night and dream of being taller. Of having long lean legs instead of the stubby turkey leg ones I was given. I would fantasize about having surgery to lengthen my legs. Maybe my legs could be broken and they could insert rods to give me length, that would be great!

As an adult, I'm still not crazy about my lack of height but thinking back on my childhood dreams of some Frankenstein-esque surgery makes me cringe. Breaking bones to insert rods sounds like pure torture. Who even dreams up sick things like that anyway? Me, apparently. Oh, and some doctors do, too.

I stumbled on an article in LadBible that literally stopped me in my tracks and I kid you not, my jaw dropped open. There are actual companies that advertise that for up to $71,000, they can add several inches to your height. However, the procedure is excruciatingly painful as they cut into your leg bone, insert a piece of technology into the bone, and then slowly stretch your leg bones. Can you even imagine how awful that must feel?

The companies claim that through this procedure, patients will gain between two and five inches in height once it's all said and done. Would I like to be five feet, five inches? It would be a dream! Would I shell out nearly $100k and put myself through torturous pain? If solely to boost my confidence, absolutely not. To fix knock knee, limb length discrepancy, or bowleg? Maybe.

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