Help For Single Girls: Witty and Snarky Comments Welcome

If there's an uncomfortable question about being single, I've been asked it.  Usually I just slouch down in my chair and hope that if I don't make eye contact, my family will forget I'm there and stop bombarding me with awkward questions.  But I've got to face them eventually- so to not only help myself, but other single girls who are dreading the upcoming holiday season, I'll be writing a single girl's guide to surviving the holidays, but I'm not so good at knowing how to answer the uncomfortable questions dropped on me by family, so I need your help.

Here's how it works: take a look at the questions below and leave a comment in the comment box beneath this article with the question number next to it with how you'd reply if someone asked you the question. Extra points for creativity, wit and snarkiness! And if I pick your answer, I'll give you a shout-out in my article.

Q 1. Are you thinking of adopting since you can’t find a man to have kids with?

Q 2. When are you getting married? Is there something wrong with you?

Q 3. Oh, your stomach hurts? Are you pregnant?

Q 4.When I was your age I was married with three kids, don’t you think you’re running out of time?

Q 5. So, why are you keeping your boyfriend a secret from us? Is he married?

Q 6. You adopted another cat? You do know that they can’t replace human companionship, right?

Q 7. You want second helpings? Is this how you eat on a date?

Q 8. So, when will we be planning your wedding?

Q 9.Are you planning on eloping and not telling us?

Q 10.You know, you can invite anyone you want for Thanksgiving, it doesn’t have to be just family… Is there anyone you can think of asking?

Q 11.You don’t want to come to your cousin’s house for dinner? Is there someone else’s family you are spending the holiday with?

Q 12.Grandpa has a special toast he wants to give when you get married, but he’s afraid he won’t live long enough. Can you hurry things along?

Q 13. I saw your friend, Becky, at the store yesterday. Did you know that her fiance has a brother?

Q 14. Your mother set out an extra place in case you brought a friend. Is he driving separate?

Q 15.Have you ever considered speed dating? You can go on more dates in ten minutes then you have in the last year.

Q 16. How many years have you been single again?

Q. 17. It’s good that you’re career driven. There’s no use waiting around for something that might not happen. By the way, is there something you've been wanting to tell us?

Q 18. Your new apartment is so nice, but doesn’t it feel empty with just one person?