Glenn’s Simple Rules to Dating My Daughters [GLENN REACTS]

Father's Day is Sunday, and this is my Father's Day gift to anyone that wants to date my daughters. I have 2 daughters. One will be dating soon and the other will be dating before I know it.

Here are some of the rules if you want to date my daughter. Please note, I can change or add to this list anytime at my discretion.

Don't honk the horn. If you pull into the driveway and honk, you better be delivering something, because you're not picking anything up.

Do not lie to me. I may play a naive half-wit on the air, but on things concerning my daughters, I am all knowing.

If I ask you where you're going, you have 1 chance to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I'm the judge and jury. Now go have fun.

I hear that boys your age have a tendency to wear your pants low and loose. I don't mind....as long as you don't mind that I electric nail gun your pants in place on your waist.

Places that aren't appropriate for a date:  Places where there are no parents, policemen or nuns within sight.  Movies with a strong romantic theme bad, movies with dinosaurs good.

Binghamton Senators hockey is good, the nursing home is better. If he wants real bonus points, he should go on the ice for 'Chuck-a-Puck' with me.

Talking about sports, politics and radio is okay. However the conversation that I'm most interested in is.....when will my daughter be home. Something with "early" in it is best.

Finally, when you get home pull into the driveway, exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Announce that you have brought her home safe and early. There is no need to come inside, just return to your car. That shadow you see in the moonlight...is me.

In all seriousness. It's amazing how time flies. Kenny Chesney's song Don't Blink comes to mind whenever I think about it. Enjoy your daughters (and sons) while you can.

Happy Father's Day to all dads this Sunday!