The Country Song That Worked Its Way Under My Skin Until I Had Enough Courage To Leave My Abuser
For most people, Billy Currington's song 'Must Be Doin Something Right" is baby-making music with its sensual lines and provocative music video. For me, it's a reminder of the hell that I lived and my triumphant escape.
When people ask me what my favorite country song is and I tell them that it is "Must Be Doin' Something Right" by Billy Currington, I often get the good ol' head tilt and eyebrow raise. And then, the questions come flying at me at rapid speed.
It's not that Billy Currington songs aren't awesome, it's just that people assume that I would toss out a name like Dolly, Hank, Willie, or Garth. But, no. For me, it's Billy Currington.
I remember exactly where I was the first time I heard Billy Currington sing 'Must Be Doin' Something Right." I was in my car driving to the grocery store to buy groceries to make a meal for a man who inevitably was only going to hate whatever I ended up making and scream at me for being a failure.
I sat in the parking lot of the grocery store and ugly cried. I was seven years into a volatile ten-year "relationship" that I just couldn't get out of. I was so scared that I couldn't take that first step toward leaving even though I knew if I didn't leave the toxicity would end up killing me.
As the tears streamed down my face and I soaked in the lyrics, I knew that I deserved better and was crushed, shattered, and gutted because I also knew the only one who could save me was me. I was too weak though, and it would take another three years before I worked up the courage to leave.
There's something so comforting about being held. That simple act can heal, comfort, and offer assurance. Being held in love can make a woman feel as though she is worthy of happiness, goodness, success, and joy. When the song was released, I had no idea what any of that felt like. I only knew that I did nothing right, that I was stupid, ugly, and worthless. Every time I listened to the song, it made me wish to have a man who would look at me like I was his entire world not his maid, his grunt, his property.
"A woman is a mystery a man just can't understand. Sometimes all it takes to please her is the touch of your hand." It took me ten years, but I worked up the courage to leave, and waiting for me on the other side was the man who would become my husband and who holds me and looks at me the way I once only dreamed of.
This is why "Must Be Doin' Something Right" is my favorite song and why I'll be holding on to my husband's hand extra tightly when Billy Currington sings it on Saturday night at Spiedie Fest. If you see tears fall down my cheeks during this song, now you'll know why.
If you're in a situation where you feel trapped and you know that something very wrong is happening but have nowhere to turn, don't have the money to leave, don't think anyone will believe you, are scared for your safety, or are just confused and want someone to talk to, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 and is a free call at 1-800-799-7233. You are not alone and you ARE worthy of better. I promise.
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