36 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 36 Years

I turn 36 on Sunday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I mean, 36 is still young, right? I remember as a kid fantasizing about how perfectly perfect my life would be when I one day turned the age I am now. Silly girl.

As a little girl I had an image in my head of where I'd be in life at each milestone birthday and then when that birthday came and went and my dreams hadn't become reality, I was crushed. A lovely little side effect of being cursed with the overly-sensitive gene.

But, let me tell you something that I recently learned. I learned not to become too attached to having one set life plan. I've learned that much like those Choose Your Own Adventure books that I was obsessed with reading in the 80's, I too can choose my own adventure. I can rewrite my story. And the first step to my new life adventure is letting go of the ideas I had in my head as a child of how my life should be.

And so as I step into my 36th year on this earth, I give you 36 things I've learned about life:

1. I've learned to take myself seriously, but not to take life too seriously. This means approaching life with a sense of humor and having enough sense to know when to use that humor and when to keep my mouth shut.

2. I've learned to apologize when I've done something or someone wrong (as much as it might kill me to do so) because there is incredible strength and grace in saying "I'm sorry" and meaning it.

3. I've learned to keep an open mind and to listen to the perspective of others and I've learned that those who don't keep an open mind are annoying know-it-alls that no one really wants to hang out with.

4. I've learned that a major part of my success is the context of my existence. I was blessed to be born into a country in which we are lucky to have so many rights and privileges, but I could have very easily been born elsewhere under much different circumstances.

5. I've learned that even though I've achieved some success in life, I haven't been truly happy with things unless I was in one way or another giving back to the world around me, through volunteering, helping friends, etc.

6. I've learned that my word is my promise and never to promise anything I don't plan to follow up on whether it be something big or something small.

7. I've learned that it's okay to make mistakes. And it's okay for others to make mistakes. The real valuable lesson in mistakes is knowing how to dust off, embrace the stumbles and move forward.

8. I've learned that I'm never too old to run down hills with my arms outstretched, to wish on dandelions and to jump in puddles.

9. I've learned that working hard doesn't always translate to working smart. Putting in a 12 hour days without organization and efficiency is just a huge waste of time.

10. I've learned that some friendships, no matter how hard we cling to them, will wither and that it's perfectly okay to let go in order to make room for new friends. I've also learned that sometimes old withered friendships can suddenly blossom again when least expected.

11. I've learned that breaking in a pair of shoes just isn't for me. If they're not comfortable in the store, it doesn't matter how much I walk around in them outside of the store, they will continue to make me miserable.

12. I've learned that if you find no joy in being snuggled up with your love on a rainy, nothing-to-do day, then you're focusing on the wrong things in life.

13. I've learned that having a good, face flattering haircut makes me feel like the most powerful woman in the world even if I'm wearing sweats and a holey t-shirt.

14. I've learned not to hide from my neighbors, but instead to knock on their door and introduce myself to them. You never know when you'll need them.

15. I've learned that in this day and age of technology, an old fashioned handwritten note really does matter and also has the power to change a person's day.

16. I've learned to not only take a billion photos, but to have them printed out and then to toss them into a giant box so they can be pulled out and scattered on the floor and looked at and touched.

17. I've learned how incredibly good it feels to do something completely random for a total stranger without them having a clue that I was the one who did it for them.

18. I've learned that if I don't understand something, it's better to speak up and ask for clarification rather than to pretend I understand and then fall flat on my face when it becomes apparent that I was clueless.

19. I've learned that this moment, this one right now, is where it's at. All the worries and plans for the future are simply distractions that keep us from fully living.

20. I've learned that debt is not for me. I've learned that just because I want it, doesn't mean I must have it. Living below my means and being able to pay cash for something rather than owe on it has offered me such a sense of peace. It's not always fun when there's something I really want, but it gives me an incentive to save and I appreciate whatever that thing is even more when I am able to buy it.

21. I've learned that I'm just not cool enough to stay up all night with the big kids. I need a good night of sleep in order to have clarity of mind.

22. I've learned instead of focusing on what I don't have, to be grateful for the things that I do have, the simple things in life. Envy and jealousy don’t look flattering on anyone.

23. I've learned that sometimes enough is enough. As hard as it can be unplugging and ignoring the phone calls and emails is essential. Grab a book. Go for a walk. Visit a friend and have a face to face technology free conversation. Unwind. Your sanity will thank you.

24. I've learned that people cause suffering when they are suffering themselves and this is why it's so important to show as much tolerance and compassion toward others as we possibly can. We have no idea what anyone else is going through at any given moment.

25. I've learned that if you're going to splurge on something, it should be an amazing mattress and bed set. All the worries in the world seem so much less intense when you're lying on a cloud at night.

26. I've learned that for the most part, kids will understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences. This goes for most adults too. Things become unnecessarily complicated when too many words are spoken.

27. I've learned that you're never too old to ask questions or display curiosity. Curiosity is the driving force behind some of the most fascinating people I've ever met.

28. I've learned not to compare my life to the lives of others. We only see the side of others that they allow us to see. The only person you should compare yourself to is you. Become a better than the person you were last year.

29. I've learned that there will always be haters. And I've learned that more often than not, people don't hate because of something we did, but rather how our ambition makes them feel. It’s easier for them to bring us down, than to bring themselves up and most of the time; the ones who resent us are our biggest admirers in denial.

30. I've learned that automatically putting 10% of each paycheck into a savings account means that not only am I not tempted to spend the money because I don't see it, but it also gives me a little cushion for when life starts throwing dodge balls.

31. I've learned the importance of a good bra. I'm frugal and so I get that sometimes it's easy to feel like you have to suffer through a cheap bra until it literally disintegrates (sometimes while we're wearing it-underwire pokeage anyone?), but investing in high quality items used every day, such as a bra, means they'll last longer and that's practicing frugality at its finest.

32. I've learned that it's never too late to have the childhood you always wished you had. Do the things you always wanted to do, but weren't able. As an adult, I went to the Please Touch Museum in Philly. Just me and my husband. No, we didn't have a kid with us. We played. We touched things and we investigated and we had so much fun and didn't care that other people found it odd that two adults were having so much fun learning at a museum for kids.

33. I've learned that just when you think you can't take any more, when your will has been completely broken and your hope has been stolen is when the most amazing and beautiful things will happen in your life. You've heard people say things happen when you least expect them to. This is true.

34. I've learned that if you feel you have to change yourself for another person, then that person is not the right one for you to be with. And although it's a hard pill to swallow, I've learned to listen to my friends and family. Let this be a warning- if they tell you the person you're with is bad news, believe them and run fast and hard. Don't look back. Ever. It's better to be alone than it is to waste years of your life with someone who slowly destroys you with each passing day.

35. I've learned that there's healing power in hugs. A warm and powerful hug ranks right up there with an amazing cup of coffee.

36. I've learned that I have so much left to learn, that I know almost nothing, and that more often than not, I'm totally wrong about the things I think I know. But what I do know is that I can't wait to see how much more I learn in the next 36 years!