‘Opposites Attract’ Theory Appears to Be Wrong
In the Paula Abdul song 'Opposites Attract,' Abdul sings, "I take--2 steps forward. I take--2 steps back. We come together cuz opposites attract. And you know--it ain't fiction, just a natural fact. We come together cuz opposites attract."
Except maybe what Abdul sang and many parents told their kids isn't all that true after all.
I may be in the minority, but my parents never stood behind the idea that two completely opposite people mesh well together. Ever. They always told me that I'd be happiest with someone who carried the same core values that I do as well as many of the same personality traits.
After dating a lot of guys who were the complete opposite of me, I realized that my parents were right. I was miserable with those who didn't like the same things I do and who didn't hold the same things at a high value level in life. And then I met my husband who is basically the male version of me and I've never been more satisfied with life than I am now.
But opposites not attracting doesn't just end with relationships. It also applies to friendships.
In a new study, researchers found that most of us are attracted to people who are just like we are. And it's not necessarily a romantic attraction. We're attracted to all people who are similar to us.
Researchers took a look at pairs of people and asked them a variety of questions about the attitudes, values, prejudices, personality traits, and behaviors that were important to them.
The researchers then looked to see if the pairs who were closer had more similar values and opinions than those who'd recently become friends. And what they found was that people who were acquaintances were just as similar as couples who were deep in love.
In simpler terms, we're pretty much attracted to people who are like us from the very moment we meet them.
And, you've probably heard the theory that the longer people are together, the more alike they become, right? Well, the researchers say that's not true and just as the saying 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks' is true for animals, it also appears to be true for humans. This new research pretty much squashes the dreams of anyone trying to change the annoying things about their significant other.