We recently asked you to submit your funniest joke, with five pairs of tickets to the December performance of the Impractical Jokers “Cranjis McBasketball World Comedy Tour” starring The Tenderloins.

The tour is making a stop to the Floyd L Maines Veterans Memorial Arena on December 6.

Here are the jokes we've selected for you to vote on. Vote for your favorite in a poll at the bottom of the article!


  • 1

    JOKE #1

    Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.

    --Tiffany C.

  • 2

    JOKE #2

    My nephews Josh and Johnny were always getting into mischief. One Sunday after church, their grandma asked the pastor If he could help by talking to the boys. The pastor agreed but insisted that the boys come in one at a time. Later that day Josh goes to see the pastor and sits nervously across the desk from the pastor as the pastor just stares intently at him. Finally the pastor says "Josh...where is Jesus?” Josh looks up in dismay and just stares at the pastor who asks again "Josh...where is Jesus?” Too scared to answer, Josh jumps up and runs out of the church and home as fast as he can. He runs into his bedroom where Johnny is waiting to hear the outcome of his pastoral visit and breathing hard from his run home Josh excitedly screams at Johnny that they have got to get away as fast as they can! "Why?" asks Johnny."What's the matter"? Josh replies.." Apparently Jesus is missing and they think we did it!!!”

    -- Ed

  • 3

    JOKE #3

    I keep having dreams that I'm a muffler. It's exhausting!!!!

    --Paula E.

  • 4

    JOKE #4

    As a kid, I once stayed up all night trying to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.

    -- Dillon W.

  • 5

    JOKE #5

    A lady was getting baptized The pastor dunks her in the water and says “Do you believe?” Lady says “Yes I believe.”

    Pastor dunks her again and asks, “Do you believe?”

    Lady says, “Yes I believe.”

    Pastor dunks her a third time and asks, “Do you believe?”

    Lady says, “Yes I believe.”

    Pastor asks, “What do you believe?”

    Lady says, “I believe you are trying to drown me!”


  • 6

    JOKE #6

    What do you call a fish that wears a tie? SoFISHticated!


  • 7

    JOKE #7

    A trucker is coming off the Thruway, not paying much attention he crashed right into the tollbooth. He climbs out of the cab, and as he's wondering what he's going to do. A truck full of workers pulls up and they pull a huge tub of white paste out of the truck and start piecing the booth back together. Soon enough they have all the pieces put back together and the trucker just stands there dumbfounded. "How on earth did you do that?!?"

    The workers replied,"We used Toll Gate Booth Paste."

    --Michelle M

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