How do I make someone understand that this is my life and I'll do what I want with it ?


I don't know all of the extenuating circumstances as this question is vague in details. But I can offer some advice in general.  If it's family, be respectful but firm about your wishes and what direction you decide you life should go in. If it's your friends, Thank them for being concerned and looking out for you, don't disassociate them from your life unless they are causing trouble and go on your merry way with your own decisions. If not, you'll be easily influenced and sway yourself in a direction you didn't choose. That would be awful in my opinion!

I have a story for you that explains my experience with standing my ground and following my own path my way:

I was dating a girl in my early 20's. We'll change her name to "Erica" to protect her sanity and privacy, but needless to say, my father didn't approve of her. He kicked me out of the house saying horribly nasty things about she and I. Some of which included "That I'd end up in jail" and that in was "a worthless piece of s***". I lived in my Lincoln Continental for 6 months before getting a sub-par, pay-by-weekly apartment above a bar. This whole ordeal tore my mother to shreds emotionally... and was hard. I had a 30 minute window to call her from a pay phone before dad got home to make sure she was ok and let her know I was doing fine. Even tho I wasn't. But I learned that I could survive, with Erica, on love and very little income alone.

Now, Erica ended up moving with her mom to a state across the country and made some horrible decisions after that. But I stuck to my guns and let it play out. It was the best thing I could've done for myself. I learned at that point that I was responsible for my own outcome. No matter how hard my father made it for me to do so... I didn't give up on her or what I wanted.

It set a precedence at the very moment that I didn't call Erica and tell her it was over(because I was getting disowned by my parents), which was what he wanted me to do. Instead, I just left with the clothes I was wearing and didn't look back. I chose my decisions over manipulation of any kind. and you know what?

I never had to deal with that situation type again. Even when I moved out with with my next girlfriend. I heard no opinions. I mean my father didn't talk to me the entire time. Even when he and mom came to visit us!  Lol but! He caused no problems what so ever.

Hope this helps!

 - Birdsall

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