So... the Bills made the playoffs. Great.

Ten-win season? Sweet.

They won't go anywhere in the playoffs.

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I know, I know. You're mad. How dare I say that? I'm just a hater, just like everyone else in national sports media that hates the Bills.

Before you sharpen your pitchforks and light the torches, here are our reasons for why the Bills will bounced early from the playoffs... which may or may not be true...

  • 1

    All the Defensive Players Break Their Back

    The Bills defense has been the rock of the team, single-handedly carrying the offense to victory in some games.

    All that carrying has to be killing the lower back of the defense. It's got to give out at some point.

     

  • 2

    Josh Allen Moves Back To Wyoming

    What if Josh Allen, who went to the State University of Wyoming, just decides, "You know what? I miss living in a state that is shaped like a perfect rectangle."?

    Maybe he would move back to try to get an NFL franchise in the least populous state... or maybe an XFL team.

  • 3

    Recess Ends for Devin Singletary

    The talented rookie running back is the resident young guy on the team, but what if we're underestimating how young he really is?

    What if he is actually nine years old, and is playing running back for the Bills during recess?

    Recess has to end at some point.

  • 4

    Tre White Goes Back to Running Goalie Academy

  • 5

    The Aztecs Weren't Wrong, Just a Little Early

    Remember back in 2012 when all the rage was thinking that the world was going to end on December 21, 2012 because the ancient Aztecs said so?

    What if they weren't wrong, just a little off?

    You heard it here first: The world will end on December 21, 2019, ruining the Bills' playoff hopes (and everyone else's).

  • 6

    Tre White Will Get Distracted by a Planted Playbook

    Back to Tre White, remember when the Ravens' playbook blew onto the field during their game with the Bills, and White read it?

    I'm sure whoever the Bills will play was paying attention, and will plant a fake playbook for White to find, thus making him late for his flight.

    A fool-proof plan.

  • 7

    Screw This List

    The Bills team rocks. They'll be more than fine. Go Bills!