My Alone on Valentines Day Drunken Revelation

I spent most of Valentines Day intoxicated and avoiding Facebook so I didn't have to see all the flowers and candy and love that others share. I have it, but did my best to keep it to myself. I say my best because I failed.  Because, booze.  After taking a shower the alcohol had set in enough to significantly slow my mind down helping to figure out what I want in life. All of everything poured over the walls in my head like the luke warm water was over my face. When the shower went cold, I got out, dried off, slapped my jeans back on and an America On Tap t-shirt(that friends is called irony) and fell asleep on the couch.

I was asked the next day "Besides coffee, what do you like?" I already had an answer to this question from the previous nights "meditation" so I responded without even a hiccup in thought processes about what I like and want. Here's what I said:

"I like... Going places and doing awesome things. I wanna be important to someone. I want to fill a space that needs me. I want a partner that's into me and feels like some of her is missing when I'm away the same as I feel about her. I want a house in the country with a fence I built and kids running around enjoying the outside better than video games. I don't want to be judged or criticized by those I love. I want to be loved unconditionally without lies or cheating. I want someone to see the wild fire burning in my soul and have the uncontrollable urge to fan the flames. I like knowing we rule our own little kingdom together, that we are both driven individuals yet, I have 100% confidence that I have my queen standing behind me in support of my success and failures.  

I... Humbly want it all. I want, need, adore, perfect imperfection. I yearn for it."

Now, the problem with this that immediately see is that it obviously shows. I'm soaked in it like standing in a thunderstorm. Which has to put a lot of pressure the one I'm dating. I go after what I want, I overthink all situations and act on my perceptions in order to convey what I want in my life. The woman ends up feeling inadequate and runs. My last relationship was as close as I have ever gotten to what turns out to be my unrealistic goal. Which is why it was so hard when it ended.

Now that I've have this compiled, and can pinpoint what it is I'm chasing...

I know that in a relationship you always must be thinking about your partner... I do this. As a matter of fact, I will sacrifice all non needed things for them at a moments notice when they are in need. I don't think that is wrong, I care that much. If they need help with something I will hop to it. However I question if it looks too intense. Anyway...

Is all of the things in blood red up there too much to ask for of a person?  Am I too hopeful that someone can match these ideals? Should I just accept that no one can do this and do what I was told never to do. Settle?

Respond on Facebook, tell me what you think.

Please be nice though. Thanks,

-Birdsall