I'm doing a job fair with Maine's Paper & Food today from 3-6 at Darden Warehouse, 215 Broome Corporate Parkway in Conklin. They are doing on-the-spot interviews. They probably won't be asking these questions.....but other companies have.

5) Can you say: "Peter Pepper Picked a Pickled Pepper" and cross-sell a washing machine at the same time? (Mastercard) My question would be: Can you say Peter Pepper Picked a Pickled Pepper but say it as if the P's were silent....like in Pneumonia.

4) If we came to your house for dinner, what would you prepare for us? (Trader Joe's) I don't know what is your favorite microwave dish.

3) What do you think about when you are alone in your car? (Gallup) I try to get the car to talk to me. "C'mon Kitt, it's just you and me here, say something." Although if it did answer me, who would believe me?

2) If you were to get rid of one state in the U.S., which would it be and why? (Forrester Research) State of Confusion, Why: because I'm always there and I can't escape.

1) A penguin walks through the door right now wearing a sombrero. What does he say and why is he here? (Clark Construction Group). I didn't know this was a black tie interview or I would have put on a tux too...that's what I would say to the penguin. He's here to take me to the Cinco De Mayo party and he's driving.

My last question would be: Did you lie to me about any of the other questions I asked? Thankfully I haven't had a job interview since 1996.

I'm pretty sure that the fine folks from Maine's Paper and Food won't be asking you those question but I do know this. While I'm there from 3-6, you can register to win tickets to the 2nd Taste of Country Music Festival.