Married people will totally understand what I mean when I say that everything changes after saying "I do." It's definitely not a bad thing, but the way text and Facebook messages go from sugary sweet things to practical things is pretty comical.

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Just before we got married and shortly after, my husband would send messages that said things like "good morning, beautiful" and "I miss waking up with you next to me" (I leave for work before he gets up). My husband sent me a text the other night. While we were sitting on the couch. Right next to each other. There wasn't any sugar, but there was a twinge of marriage humor.

Traci Taylor
Traci Taylor

Wondering what it was that I lost? It was my wedding ring. I hadn't actually lost it, it was sitting on the kitchen windowsill because I took it off to clean, but that question was something that didn't really need to be sent to me in a text. I mean, he could have leaned over and asked.

If you and the lady in your life spend a lot of time texting back and forth, be warned. There are some texts that you never, ever want to receive from a woman.

  • 1

    “I Know What You Did Last Night”

    Uh, oh, If you get a text like this, it's best to fess up instead of trying to cover your tracks. If a woman knows for sure you did something you weren't supposed to, we'll still be angry but we appreciate honesty over lies.

  • 2

    “Don’t Bother Answering”

    When we say this, we mean it. We're so fired up that we don't want to talk to you. But don't worry, we'll start hounding you if and when we do want to talk to you again.

  • 3

    "I Thought You Were at Work"

    You're probably better off getting this in text form than by spoken word because unless you have a cold and calloused heart, when you hear us say this in person, you'll not only hear the anger but also the sadness in our voice and it'll probably make you feel just as bad as we do about you lying to us.

  • 4

    “You’re Dead to Me”

    If we spit this out whether in person or through message, the meaning is pretty clear. We never want to see or speak to you again and there is nothing at all that you can do or say that will change our mind. Nothing. 

  • 5

    “You’re Unbelievable, You Know That?”

    This is one of those things that can have double meaning, but (at least for me) is usually not a great thing. If you've done something really sweet for a woman and she sends you a message like this, you can generally take it as her being genuine. BUT- if you've been a jerk or made a woman mad and she says this to you, do not answer. It's a trap. It's an opening for you to open your mouth and then for her to unleash on you.

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