A New York Daughter’s Heartfelt Mother’s Day Letter: Love, Gratitude, and Apologies

Like most mother-daughter relationships, mine with my mom has had its share of highs and lows. We’re polar opposites in many ways, but there are two traits we share that have always defined our bond: we’re both incredibly stubborn, and we both struggle with letting go of control.

Over the years, our disagreements have been loud and plentiful, but so have our moments of love. Despite our differences, we’ve always respected each other. That respect has been the anchor when the stormy times hit.

A Family Crisis and Coming Together

There was one year that tested everything. My mom became so ill that she had to be admitted to the hospital, and we didn’t know if she’d make it through. My siblings and I rallied, taking care of my dad and our three younger siblings. We took turns visiting Mom in the hospital, and while we aren’t always perfect about staying in touch, when things get tough, we come together. And when we do, we’re an unstoppable force.

READ MORE: Hey, New York Moms - It’s Okay to Want Time Alone This Mother’s Day

A Mother’s Day Letter

This Mother’s Day, I have a few things to say to my mom that I wish I had said sooner:

I'm Sorry for the Hurtful Words

Mom, I’m sorry for all the times I told you I hated you when I was younger. I know that must have hurt so deeply, and I wish I could take it back. You’ve always known how deeply I feel things, but I now realize that the words I spat out weren’t just “spitting fire.” They were hurtful. Please know that I never really meant it; I was just a dramatic teenager, figuring myself out. Now that I’m a mom, I get it. I understand how much those words must have stung.

I Wish I’d Cuddled a Little Longer

I remember you telling me that you’d been cuddling kids for 45 years, and that it made you sad to think those days were coming to an end with your youngest leaving home. I didn’t always understand it, but now I do. My little guy is growing up so fast and doesn’t want to cuddle as much anymore, and it breaks my heart. I’m so sorry I didn’t stay close when you wanted to hold me, but I promise I understand now.

You Were a Supermom

When you were a single mom raising four kids, you did the impossible. You somehow managed to grocery shop with all of us in tow without losing a single one of us. I swear you had eyes in the back of your head! I still talk to friends and even my husband about how amazed they are that you did that. It wasn’t easy, but you made it look like it was. You were, and still are, a superhero in my eyes.

You Were Right About the Little Things

Looking back at old photos, I now understand why you tried so hard to get me to stop wearing black all the time. You were right, I do look better in brighter colors. And the hair advice you gave me? You were right again. I could be wearing a bag, but if my hair looks good, I somehow look put together. I may not spend the time on my hair like you’d like me to, but I’ll get there one day… maybe when my son is grown, and I get more than four hours of sleep a night.

I Finally Get the Sacrifices You Made

I know I didn’t fully appreciate everything you did for us when I was younger, the sleepless nights, the cold dinners, the sacrifices you made to make sure we had everything we needed while you went without. But I see it now. And I’m thankful. You made so many sacrifices that I didn’t understand at the time, but I get it now. You gave up so much for us, and I will never take that for granted.

The Comfort of a Simple Meal

There were times when all we had to eat was a roll and butter, but you made it feel like a feast. I think back to those moments often, and when I’m feeling down, sometimes I’ll fry up a roll in butter, and it brings me comfort, just like it did when I was a kid. We may not have had much, but you always made the most of it. I’ll never forget that.

Get our free mobile app

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom

Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, for all of us. For making me laugh, keeping me on my toes, and showing me the true meaning of love and sacrifice. I’m not perfect, but I hope you know how much I love you and how much I appreciate you.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I love you.

Love,
Traci