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What Should Your Apartment Brochure Actually Say?

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If you’ve been living in an apartment house you probably have legitimate gripes about something at your residence. Tons of apartment brochures are put about with the awesomeness of your perspective place to reside. After being there for months or years, would like to re-write the brochure to reflect what the apartment really offers? Like this:

Award-Winning Community Design
Stunning Brick Architecture and Resident Community Center! Featuring Bright Spacious Rooms! Just Blocks from the Exciting City Center!


•Short walk or bike ride away
from colleges, class and labs
•parking in front of your
apartment
•Month-to-month leasing all
year round
•Furnished or unfurnished 1
and 2 bedroom apartments
•Water, gas, local phone,
80+ channels of cable
television and internet access
included in rent
•Laundry! Three
laundromats on site
•U.S. Mail delivered to
apartment complexes
•24-hour on-call maintenance
•Garden plots available
•Barbecue grills and picnic
tables on the grounds
•Playground for
children
•Resident Manager lives on
premise

Broken Down Building Design
Dirty Brick Architecture with a Room for Drug Dealers Conduct Business! Featuring Tiny Pink or Light Green Rooms! Just Blocks From The Empty Store Fronts in City Center!


•Short walk or bike ride away
from getting mugged at night.
•No parking in front of your
apartment unless your car doesn’t run.
•Month-to-month over priced leasing all
year round
•With dirty couch or without, 1 or 2 Rooms
with community restroom
•Water, gas, 80+ channels of barely working cable television and
internet access stolen from the business next door
included in rent
•Laundromat! Three
washers in the basement.
•U.S. Mail stolen by neighboors in
apartment complex
•Answering machine for “24 hour” maintenance
•Flower pot available
•Hibachi and lawn chair
on the fire escape
•Old tire In the alley
the children play on
•Creepy landlord that
constantly hits on you


If so, Email me your re-written brochure “showcasing” all of the “indemnities” you apartment house or complex REALLY offers!

If you can keep it cussing and name calling free, I’ll share it with with the The rest of The Hawksters! Feel free to comment on Facebook as well below!

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