What It Means To Be Dad, How Do You Do It?

It's time again this year to honor dear old Dad. Each of us have memories to take with us forever and some of our dads continue to make even more memories with us! Sure it's not always perfect at times, but he was there. Before I start writing all this I want you to know that I am aware. I am aware of the fact that some of us had the unfortunate happen, and had no father figure or one that was unsavory in many ways. So yes I am aware. To those of you who are in this boat, I know the mixture of emotions you are feeling right now. Just know, that I am writing none of this to rub any rotten feelings you have deeper into the wound. I, WE, love you.

What it means to be Dad. Support in the most intense meaning! You need to help support the mother of your children mentally, physically and financially. You need to support your children mentally, physically and financially. Now what does this mean really? I've seen it over and over, the wives handle most of the childcare duties and those fathers feel like a back up parent or worse yet babysitters. It’s easy to get comfortable passing the parenting duties off to the wife and not be fully engaged. Being Dad means being an effective, involved father who will change diapers, give baths and bottles, take kids to doctor’s appointments, do PTA meetings, and anything else!

To be Dad means to take your fathers example and use it to shape yourself into a great father as well. With that being said, none of our fathers were perfect, so it’s important for you to understand your dads shortcomings, do the opposite of those and carry forward your fathers strengths.

Also being a Dad means you have to read your wife's story quietly and learn to make her happy. What does this mean? Your wife plays and important part in your fatherhood! Her expectations for you will be influenced by her father. If her dad was absent or abusive, she may find it difficult to trust you with the children. If her father was present but emotionally disconnected, she may not appreciate the assets you bring to the parenting team. If she had a close, loving relationship with her dad, she may have high expectations and you may feel pressure to live up to an unrealistic standard. All of this your father figured out somehow and so do you.

Now that I've scratched the surface for you about what it means to be Dad...  You see that it's harder than just buying some diapers and school clothes and going to an occasional soccer game. You may have, while you were reading, started to remember some of the things your dad did as you were a child that matched those things above.

*Smile*

We honor Dad because of those things and many others. Show Dad some love and that you appreciate him raising you well. Give him a hug, some family time. something with your pictures in it, that has the word "Love", "You", and "Dad" on it.