Three Things I’ve Learned in Three Years of Marriage
Our friends tell me and my husband that this year, our number is three. The reason is that it was three years ago April that my husband asked me to be his wife. 33 day later we became husband and wife and 36 days after our marriage, we found out that our son would be joining our little family. Today is our third wedding anniversary and we've had some pretty incredible adventures packed into three short years.
Even though we've settled into a somewhat "normal" routine, my life with Jay is a constant flurry of activity. This is the year that I'll be donating bone marrow to a cancer patient and I'll be doing it with my husband by my side. Literally- Jay will be right next to me the whole time when I'm in the hospital- supporting and encouraging me. We're also hoping that this will be the year that we finally buy our own house so that we can plant and grow roots. And maybe, just maybe, this will be the year that our dream come true and we'll be able to expand our family.
Jay and I are still babies in this thing called marriage and we still have so much more to learn and a lifetime to do it, but as we celebrate our third anniversary today, I give you three things I've learned in the three years we've been married.
Jay and I come from two different backgrounds and while there are many things that our families share in common, they couldn’t be more different when it comes to child-rearing. Jay’s parents were and are still very involved in every aspect of their kid’s lives and my parents always pushed us to be independent and decisive and they still do. It’s not a matter of Jay’s parents being wrong and mine right or the other way around. It’s about me and Jay taking what we've learned from our parents and meeting in the middle of where we’re each coming from to parent our son the best way we can.
Our imperfect marriage has had plenty of ups and downs. Jay is lighthearted and loves to tease while I’m more serious. Allowing myself to lighten up and laugh has been healing in some of the more difficult situations we’ve found ourselves in. Jay has the incredible ability to throw me off course when I start getting on an angry tangent by making me laugh and I have no doubt that this has saved us from what could have been some very damaging fights.
How many times have you been talking to someone when you clearly see them drifting? Their eyes shift, they start talking to others, or fidget with things around them. It hurts. It hurts when you have something to say and the people you’re talking to make it obvious that you’re not worth their time. It’s not just outside the house that this has a tendency to happen and I’ve learned that even if Jay is telling me the longest, most boring story ever, I need to give him my attention so that he knows that he’s worth my time and that he matters to me.