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Things I’ve Learned From The Movies

If we believed everything that happened in the movies, we’d be in for a VERY interesting life. Here are some things I’ve learned from the movies:

When running from the bad guy you will definitely trip over absolutely nothing.

The cop who’s been suspended will end up being the one who saves the day.

As soon as you settle into your bubble bath, something bad is going to happen.

If you’re going for a swim, your hair will look perfect even dripping wet.

Women have time to cook breakfast, but their family won’t have time to eat it.

You’ll always find a parking spot right in front of the building you’re visiting.

During all police investigations it’ll be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

If you tell a girl to stay in the car while you go deal with the bad guys, she will leave the car and end up with a gun pointed at her head.

When you pay for your taxi, don’t bother to count out your money- simply hand over whatever is in your wallet.

Walking through a cemetery? Expect to hear creepy music.

The ventilation system is a perfectly acceptable place to hide.

In love? Then it’s perfectly acceptable to break out into song.

If you show someone a picture of the woman you love who’s back home, you’re probably going to end up dying.

All telephone numbers begin with the digits 555.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

If a woman is being chased, she will probably fall down.

Bombs are diffused by cutting the red wire.

Good guys who’ve never shot a gun before always seem to perfectly shoot their
target.

All grocery bags contain fruit at least one loaf of French bread.

Having a nightmare? Expect to wake up suddenly and sitting up.

When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that as your light source.

If you’re staying in a haunted house, you should investigate any strange noise you hear in your sexiest bra and panties.

If you’re a man and shirtless, you’re probably not going to get shot.

If you’re a dad and you have a job, you’re probably going to forget your kid’s birthday.

Any lock can be picked with a credit card unless it’s the lock on a door to a room where someone needs to be saved.

While driving, you should look at the person sitting next to you, not at the road.

If you’re blonde and pretty, you can bet you’re probably going to be a scientist of some sort.

The more a man and woman hate each other, the harder they’ll fall into love.

If you’re being chased on a crowded street, there’s almost always a big parade happening that you can duck into and get lost in.

No matter how fast or how far you run, the killer is always going to be right behind you.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve never flown a plane in your life. In a dire situation, you’ll magically be a master pilot.

When running from a killer, you’re probably going to run upstairs instead of out the front door.

Pretty much nobody ever has to go to the bathroom.

If you’ve got a classic car, it’s probably going to get destroyed.

If you’re the good guy, you’re probably never going to run out of ammo. And if you do, don’t worry- someone will come along out of the blue with more for you.

There’s always time to make love- even if bullets are flying.

Giving birth to twins? One of them is going to be evil.

Women giving birth will pop out their baby in mere moments.

It always snows on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

If someone tells you that your plan will never work, it will actually work.

If you’re engaged, chances are good someone’s gonna try to mess that up.

If you’re single and a woman, you’re probably gonna own a cat.

If you ever need to steal a uniform, you don’t need to worry about trying it on- any
one you grab will fit.

Overweight kids don’t have names- only nicknames.

Anyone attending a funeral will be wearing black and sunglasses

Hawk listeners are chiming in at 607-720-9801 and on Facebook with things they’ve learned from the movies. 

  • Erin from Chenango Bridge has learned that if you’re falling in love with someone you’re undoubtedly going to run into a situation where it looks like one of you is being unfaithful when it’s really just a big misunderstanding.
  • Kathy Phelan of Binghamton says she’s learned that the bad guys won’t hurt you if you can’t identify them so if she thinks she hears something in her house she pretends to be asleep.
  • Chris from Oxford said he’s learned that if you ever find yourself in a fire fight, you will you will never, ever run out of ammunition and you will never need to reload your gun.  Ever.
  • Genny Leone posted on Facebook that she’s learned that before you get into your car, you should ALWAYS check the backseat.

Your turn! What have you learned from the movies?

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