Tonight is Halloween. It's going to be a warm, but rainy night for Trick or Treating. I'm going in my egg costume, it's too hot (and wet) to wear 'Tigger.' Tara is going as one of the characters from 'Monster High.' When we go out, I always see kids that look a little too old. Here are the signs:

5) You ask for high fiber candy only

4) You have to choose a costume that doesn't dislodge your hairpiece... or your hip

3) You get winded from knocking on the door and then you say "Trick or... can I just sit down on your porch?"

2) You ask other kids to chew the candy for you

1) You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live... also awkward when you knock on a door of a ex-girlfriend and the kid looks a lot like you

Happy Halloween to all young and old. Have a BOOtiful night.