Most Dads Deserve so Much Better | One Mom’s Perspective
I was in the car the other day listening to the radio when I heard a public service announcement come on to encourage dads to step up and be present in the lives of their kids. The first thought that popped into my head was, "I wonder why they don't also have public service announcements about moms needing to be more present in the lives of their kids."
Face it - dads tend to get a bad rap for not spending enough time with their kids, but in all fairness, the same lack of attention also applies to moms. And, not all dads are self-centered and so absorbed in work and the such that they neglect their children.
When my son was born, things didn't go at all how we imagined they would. I had to have an emergency C-section and was in excruciating pain for days afterward, but I will be forever thankful for my husband who never left my side and who literally did everything when it came to taking care of our son those really hard first days. I was actually just sitting at the kitchen table, tearing up as I explained to my in-laws how much their son did for me and for our boy when we first became parents and how he continues to be extremely hands and involved to this day. I sincerely couldn't have asked for a better husband and father.
When my husband returned to work after taking some paternity time, he found himself in casual conversation with the ladies at work, discussing all the diapers he'd changed and middle of the night feedings he took over so that I could rest. He talked about how much he missed being home to cuddle and soothe and that he couldn't wait for the day to be over so that he could go be with his boy. Jay's co-workers couldn't believe what a hands-on dad he is and when he got home that night, Jay told me what they'd said and that with a look of confusion on his face, he said, "Isn't that how all dads are supposed to be?"
Yes. That's how all dad are supposed to be. And you know what? There ARE so many dads just like my husband who don't get the recognition they deserve because instead of hearing about all the good dads, news about the bad ones is constantly shoved down our throats.
I find myself getting super defensive whenever I hear someone bash on dads and say that they have no idea how hard moms have it. I can't speak for all families, but in ours, my husband has stepped up time and time again when I've been sick or have had to go out of town for work. Jay has managed to balance errands, cooking, cleaning, working a full-time job, and spending a heap of quality time with our son. My husband and I have vowed that our son will never, ever question whether his voice is heard, whether he's important to both of us, or whether we genuinely love him. Affection is something we dole out freely in our house and as he grows older, John will also never have to question whether or not we'd drop everything to be there for him if he needed us.
It makes me really sad how many amazing dads are overlooked on Father's Day. Sure, Mother's Day and Father's Day might have morphed into more of "greeting card" holidays over the years and yes, we should show our love and respect to our parents every day of the year, but we also shouldn't let that take away from the specialness of those holidays and we should treat our parents like the superstars they are.
The independent research firm Toluna says that 40% of men and 36% of women feel that fathers don't get as much attention as they deserve on Father's Day. So, sad.
The Toluna survey also asked dads if money weren't an object and if they could be gifted with whatever they wanted for Father's Day what it is they'd want. 41 percent of dads said they'd ask for a new car and 15 percent said a boat or yacht.
Unless you're loaded, I'm going to guess that you won't be running out to buy dad a new car or a boat, but you can't definitely buy or make him a card and call him on Father's Day, which is this Sunday, June 17th.
If you have an amazing dad, let him know how much you love and appreciate him. The day will come when he won't be around anymore and you don't want to live with the regret of having left things unsaid.
[via PR Newswire]