I can hear my Mom in my head chastising me for calling someone a moron.  But that was the nicest of words I could come up with.

I’ve decided I’ve kept my mouth shut for long enough.  I’ve avoided this topic because it’s been such a hot button, but I can’t sit back and not say anything anymore.

Rihanna is a moron. There.  I said it.  I am so disgusted by Rihanna and the message she’s sending to young girls and teens and other women and men for that matter.  Rihanna is making it seem as though it’s ok to get back someone who’s beat a person to a pulp. Now, before you tell me that I have no room to speak on this issue and that it's harder to walk away than it is to stay, let me tell you that I've lived through domestic violence.  I get it.

This isn’t a guy hitting a girl thing.  This is a human being hitting another human being issue.  It’s NOT okay to hit another person in a fit of rage.  What Chris did to Rihanna was a brutal beat down.  Have you forgotten what Rihanna looked like after he attacked her?  Apparently she has.  Apparently she’s forgotten the cowardly punches thrown at her. Here’s what went down:

On February 8, 2009, Rihanna got her hands on Chris’s cell and found a couple text messages to a chick he’d previously dated and all hades broke out when she confronted him about it. Chris started slamming Rihanna’s head into the window before punching her in the face multiple times.

Fast forward four years and lookie, lookie.  Chris and Rihanna all snuggled up together at the Grammy Awards last night.

Are you kidding me?!?

I’ve read the stories just like everybody else about how Rihanna wanted to get back with Chris and vice versus, but didn’t really believe it.  I thought the stories were fabricated to sell more magazines.  Sadly I was wrong.

And it makes me sick to my stomach.

As a someone who’s lived through domestic violence, I just want to shake Rihanna and ask her why she thinks so little of herself and why she gave another chance to a man who beat her so savagely. And you know that’s what it is, right?  It’s a self esteem issue. Rihanna has so little of it.  Maybe she’s scared she won’t be able to make it without him.  Maybe she thinks nobody will love her like he did.  I don’t know.  But if she were truly a strong and secure person, she’d know that deep inside she has the strength to completely walk away.

Rihanna says she loves Chris and can’t stand not being with him.  I understand that people change, but what if Chris’s words of not doing it again are just lip service?  What if he goes off the deep end and does it again?  Is the potential loss of life worth the risk? Do you realize that more often than not when a person has beat another person in a fit of anger their chances of snapping again are very high?  Before Chris made the initial impact, he should have stopped the car and gotten out and walked away.  That’s what a real man would have done.  A real man doesn’t lay a hand on a woman.  And a real woman doesn’t lay a hand on a man.

Rihanna is setting an example to those who idolize her that it’s okay to go back to someone who’s savagely attacked you.

And that is just not right.

Shame on her.

My advice to someone in a domestic situation?  Get out while you’re angry because if you don’t, you’ll cool down and won’t ever leave.

The stats about domestic violence are terrifying [1]:

  • Domestic violence (also known as intimate partner violence) can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, income, or other factors.
  • One in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime.
  • Women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than men
  • Every year, 1 in 3 women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner.
  • Every year, more than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes.
  • More than 60% of domestic violence incidents happen at home.
  • Survivors of domestic violence face high rates of depression, sleep disturbances, anxiety, flashbacks, and other emotional distress.
  • Domestic violence contributes to poor health for many survivors.  For example, chronic conditions like heart disease or gastrointestinal disorders can become more serious due to domestic violence.
  • Without help, girls who witness domestic violence are more vulnerable to abuse as teens and adults.
  • Without help, boys who witness domestic violence are far more likely to become abusers of their partners and/or children as adults, thus continuing the cycle of violence in the next generation.
  • Most domestic violence incidents are never reported.

If you're in a situation where someone is attacking you- don't become a statistic. Don't think that the small acts of violence won't explode into something life threatening.

Call a friend, a neighbor, a pastor.  If you don’t have someone to call or if you're ashamed, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-621-4673 or visit them online. And I beg you, if someone is hitting you and you’ve got kids- DON’T stay with that person for the sake of your children.  GET OUT! You’ll be so much better off in the long run.

You really are worth it, you really are strong enough and you really will make it through.

I promise.