It's National Sleep Awareness Week.  I say if you're not aware of sleep then you just aren't paying attention.  OK, it's about better ways to sleep. The National Sleep Foundation has their ideas and here's my thoughts.

5) Do something dull before retiring. A little boredom goes a long way toward promoting sleep. That must be why the wife is always fast asleep when I go to bed.

4) Keep the bedroom dark. Light interferes with sleep. So that's why the wife has it so dark in there. However that doesn't explain why she calls me "Juan."

3) Keep the bedroom cool and the bed warm. That's what I'm doing wrong, it's been the other way around.

2) Drink milk before bedtime. Milk contains substance that relax the body.  My problem is that the Oreo cookie crumbs keep waking me up.

1) Use your bed for only one thing: sleep.  Oh sure, she follows that rule.

I hope this makes you more aware. I know one thing, if the wife becomes aware of this story, I'll be sleeping....cuz she'll knock me out.  I guess I better make sure the doghouse is warm.