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Science Says Eating Chocolate Makes You Smarter

Dark Chocolate
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All I needed to do was go to the store for one thing, but I made the mistake of going to the Target, where I swear that there’s no way you can walk out without dropping at least a hundred bucks no matter how strong your willpower.

You’ve heard the rumor that they pump oxygen through the vents at casinos to make people stay and play longer, right? I’m convinced that they pump some sort of brain altering something through the vents at Target to make you spend more money.

I was determined that I was going to walk in and out with just the one item I went in for. But then it happened. I got sucked into the Easter section (because doesn’t everyone shop the Easter section before St. Patrick’s Day?!?) and I just had to pull out my phone to see if I had any coupons on the store app that I absolutely needed to use.  No, I really did. I could feel my phone tugging at me from inside my pocket, asking to be used and the little voice on my shoulder kept whispering in my ear that it was a life or death situation-  I must check to see if I had any savings on my app. And of course, I did. It was a coupon for 50% off solid chocolate bunnies. I mean, how could anyone expect me to pass up savings of 50%? Sure, I don’t even really like chocolate, but 50% off?

So, yeah. This woman who rarely ever eats chocolate, who’s husband is allergic to chocolate, and who has a little boy hyper enough that he doesn’t need additional help from chocolate, is stocked up on solid chocolate Easter bunnies.

I was having hardcore buyers remorse until I stumbled on a little nugget that had me reaching for the bunnies and ripping the wrapping off as fast as I could to munch down on chocolate ears.

According to Vice, the University of Maine says eating chocolate makes you smarter. Chocolate lovers, rejoice!  The university claims that there is a positive relationship between eating chocolate regularly and a bunch of brain functions. So now might be a good time to stock up on those chocolate bunnies, or if you want even deeper discounts, go on the Monday after Easter when prices will be slashed.

[via Vice]

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