Turning 50 [GLENN REACTS]

First and foremost, thank you to all who sent me birthday wishes yesterday. Yes, it's true, I have been welcomed into AARP with open arms.

I was apprehensive about joining at first but when my wife, my momma, my daughter and my female work partner tell me to sign up, then I better sign up. Here are a few other gifts I received.

•  An ice scraper: Because it works better than using a credit card.
• Groucho Marx Novelty Glasses:  Traci would like to borrow them when we're in public together so they don't recognize her. Especially when I tell my "Pinore Moore" wine joke. Wait. you haven't heard it? Here you go, what is the favorite wine for AARP members? Pinore Moore (Pee-No More)!
•  V8 (yes the excellent source of vegetable nutrition): I call this one the fruit cake of birthday presents.
• Filter Masks: I'm assuming for all the times that Traci is sick...or is that for all the times I make her sick with my gorilla and 'Dime On' Ring joke?
• AARP subscription: Oh wait. I already mentioned that. See that's what happens when you turn 50?!

Thanks again to all!