Don’t Waste Flat Beer It’s Alcohol Abuse – USE IT!

You've woken up on the couch at a party and realize there's a pitcher or two of unused FLAT Beer left. WAIT!! WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING?!? Don't pour it out! Use it! Here's 10 ways to not commit alcohol abuse with flat beer:

#1. Insect Catcher
Pour it in some mason Jars and the insects will fly in and drown. they are attracted to the sugars in the beer, And if you think about it... whatta way to go!

#2.  Put A Glimmer On Your CookWare
The slight acidity of your brewsky will take copper and brass to a shiny finish. and it will smell of an old pub!

#3.  Wood Polish?
Lifehacker says spilled beer on finished wood when buffed out with a soft cloth will provide a fabulous luster... Dude. I dunno. Spot check 1st.

#4. Beer Basted Chicken of Course!
Take a full can or a half can of that flat beer and shove it up a chickens backside! Cook it over the grill and and it'll be tasty! The chicken should be gutted and prepared for cooking 1st please for the sake of the chicken. Any thing else would be a party fowl.

#5. Crispy Beer Flat Bread?
You need three ingredients: flour, salt and beer. Bake it. Eat it. You're welcome.

#6. Mix it with your BBQ sauce before you grill.
One can to a gallon of BBQ sauce. Mix it. splatter it on and eat it. Again... You're welcome.

#7. Marinate Your Pork In Beer
A study in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry found that marinating pork in beer reduces carcinogens in grilled meat. When you grill protein-rich foods, two chemical compounds appear: heterocyclic amines (HCAs) and polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs). The former comes from char, while the latter comes with some from fat drippings on charcoal. The study found that black beer reduced PAHs by 53%, non-alcoholic pilsner by 25% and regular pilsner by 13%.

#8. Soften Your Feet Before a Pedicure.
The yeast in a beer foot bath softens tough skin on the bottom of feet, and the alcohol acts as a natural antiseptic. All it takes is a tub full of warm water and half a bottle of stale beer to make your own dunken foot spa at home.

#9. Peel Off The Ugly With A Beer Facemask"
Mix a few tablespoons of flat beer with egg white, olive oil, almond extract and plain yogurt for an all-natural purifying mask. Splatter it on and let it sit. You'll be beautiful in no time. Smelly, But beautiful!

#10. Make Your Hair Look Like Fabio
Dump it over your head in celebration and now in the name of beauty! When you massage beer into hair after shampooing, the proteins and B vitamins in beer are said to leave hair thicker and more lustrous.