Dear IHOP, Don’t Fix What Ain’t Broke

I consider myself an expert on a few things: chicken salad, mixing cocktails, and breakfast. Breakfast is the ultimate meal. If I could I would eat breakfast for every single meal of the day. I am actually not sure why people would eat any other kind of food.

I would consider myself the world's leading scholar on all things consumed before 10:30 a.m. That being said, IHOP you are doing the breakfast faithful dirty.

I'm willing to admit I have only been to IHOP a few times in my life, and every time has been delicious. The announcement of the PANCAKE house's new name has thrown me in a tizzy. The International House of Pancakes will now be known as the International House of Burgers.

Listen.

I commend the breakfast spot for trying something new, they have had some struggles in sales recently. But trying to corner the burger market just wouldn't be my move.

Out of the bigger chain restaurants, Red Robin has the burger thing on lock. They offer tons of fresh options alongside unlimited steak fries and their immaculate, unlimited steak fries.

When I want a burger, I'm going local. I want a place where the burger is hand formed, cooked on a seasoned flat top, and made by a guy who has dedicated his life to serving the best burger he can. I want a dive bar, a local hangout, a no frills no surprise place. I also don't want the second rate salad of lettuce and tomato on top of my steaming pile of meat.

I cannot knock IHOP (IHOb) for trying something new. They went viral, it created a buzz, I'm sure it will work out for them. But when you made your money on serving delicious breakfast foods, the American staple of the burger doesn't seem like the logical move.

Dear IHOP,

Don't fix what ain't broke. But if you stick a burger between two pancakes I will change my mind.

Yours in breakfast,

Jay