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Back Talk – The Weight Game

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This one is a sticky subject and in some ways kinda ticks me off… I will drop some insight on this email, but I would love for friends and listeners to weigh in as well in the FB box below. Don’t hold back, he needs a population of advice. Please read “John Doe’s” email:

Email from John Doe:
First off let me say this email address is fake….and obviously this is not my real name… I am seeking a little advise here.  OK here is the deal. I was always over weight growing up. Until August of 2011 when my life changed for the good as far as my health goes. I had gastric bypass surgery. From that day my life changed. I am down a 136 lbs and feel better than I have ever felt in my entire life. Along with this came a change in my personality, and my libido  I am married to my wife of 5 yrs and yes, I do love her dearly. Here goes the but….Since my life changing event things have changed with me. I have made a few life altering decisions. I have been stepping outside of my marriage to make up some of the things I am missing at home. I have spoken to several close friends both guys and girls about this and… Let me step back a second and tell you why I have been doing this. My wife is over weight. She has medical issues with her feet and it inhibits her from exercising. So she will always be over weight. I accept that and have no issue with that. My issue is that she can not keep up with my new demand for an increased libido and life in general. I do not want to leave her and do not plan on it either. Now back to my close friends, both guys and girls. The guys tell me “go get what you need”,the girls tell me to “talk to my wife”. Which I have done. Without divulging secret information, she just cant keep up. I can not tell her that I have been playing the field with other married women either. See I am selective in my search, no single women allowed. Married women in my life have just as much to loose as I do and they are not willing to cross the line and let out the cheating escapades. My wife does not use the computer so I felt it would be safe to talk about it with you. I guess I am seeking advise on how to deal with this and what path to take…..
Thanks for your time and understanding in this highly sensitive situation.
John Doe.

My Answer:

John. “Oh the web we weave once we choose to deceive” is what my father taught me from childhood. The circumstances that lead to the talk were nothing to do with parents but others close to our family. That being said, there are so many things wrong with your situation. Your wife is supposed to be the love of your life, your sole partner. You entered into marriage with her under that agreement. If you are unhappy with how your marriage is you should be speaking to her about it. I am somewhat saddened that you brought up her weight in this conversation as I really don’t see how this is a factor in the “keeping up” with you problem you speak of. You sound as if your weight loss has made you a bit shallow? You might want to look inside yourself and the personality “change”. See if the original John is in that skinny body. Otherwise the hurt involved from when she finds out, because she will, will be far worse than you expected. One of those marriages you’re interfering with will go sour at some point and all the dirty laundry will be aired. For the sake of your wife, you should stop or, I hate to say this but, cut her loose so she can find a mate that is committed. I urge any of my listeners to comment below and help me with this as well.

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