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Question from Kelsey:

I talk to my boyfriend and I get the stare — you know, the one that looks like I just spoke to him in Russian. Either he does that or he will respond with something completely off base or something that makes me really mad. This is when we begin to fight and it messes the whole day up. How do I get him to listen to me? I mean really listen?

My Response:

Well, I get what your saying and I do this very thing as well. I will go ahead and give you the things I think you should do if you were speaking to me. It's from a man's perspective, so hopefully it helps.

Don't try to talk to him while he's busy. Don’t talk to him when he’s playing his video game, watching TV, or doing some other extra-curricular activity. You’ll be wasting your words because he is not listening. We have a one track mind when we don't feel the need to multitask.

Don’t interrupt him or demand he stop doing whatever he is doing to listen to you. All he will do is wait for you to be finished so he can get back to what he was doing before. That also meant he really wasn't paying any attention to you. He’s probably thinking about what flank technique he needs to use to take out the guy with a bazooka on Call Of Duty.

STOP SCREAMING... Sorry to yell right there.. :-) Don’t yell at him to listen to you before you speak. He’ll think you’re just going to complain about something he should have done or didn’t do and has already inserted you into the background noise.

Also, make the conversation one that is attractive. Smile and hold his hand. Sit your butt on the couch tell him what you need to calmly with a smile. You are so hot when you smile!  As you’re talking, if you start to get the stare, ask him, “Are you following me?” If it doesn’t seem like he is, go back and explain it better. Remember, he is male. We don't talk to our guy friends like you talk to your girl friends.  When he doesn’t understand something, ask him(calmly), “What doesn't make sense?” Tell him that you want to make sure he understands what you are talking about because you want  his input on the topic at hand. He will feel good knowing that you want his input.

Sometimes guys don’t get it, so in turn to make you keep smiling he'll tell you what you want to hear. No forward progress here. SO!  It’s okay for you to tell him what to do,  He really may not know what the *** your talking about. Or he may just respond too frankly and harsh to common situations. So, if your man says, “Wow! Those jeans make your butt look enormous.” Correct him by saying something similar to, “Is that a good thing? If it is, you might want to say something like, ‘Wow! You really look beautiful in those jeans."

-Rich

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