We don’t really need further evidence that we are living in a total nightmare (or an alternate timeline, if you’re one of Those People), but then a piece of news comes along that forces us to confront the true horror of reality by offering a painful glimpse at a beautiful life that could’ve been — and never was (at least not in this timeline, if you’re one of Those People). Today, it’s the heartbreaking revelation that Jeff Goldblum — national treasure, king of the silver foxes and master of the universe — could have been the voice of Siri on your iPhone. In the mournful words of the wise Adele, WE COULD’VE HAD IT AAAALLLLLL.
It’s a story fit for a mediocre rom-com: A 37-year-old man from Austin, Texas is suing a woman for texting during a screening of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. And not just some random stranger, either — she was his date. In what he describes as “a first date from hell,” the woman allegedly refused to put her phone away and continued to text until he finally suggested she take the conversation outside. She did just that, taking her phone out of the theater, through the lobby, and out to the parking lot, where she drove off and left her date without a ride home.
Don Rickles’ talents were seemingly limitless: An outrageous insult comic, a gifted dramatic actor, a welcome sight on stages and screens (big and small), and a constant presence whose career endured for decades, often surpassing his contemporaries. And now he’s gone on to join them, as the legendary Rickles passed away today, April 6, at the age of 90.
Perhaps even more incredible than Envelopegate is how quickly the whole thing escalated, and our collective fascination with what instantly (and maybe inarguably) became the most memorable Oscar moment of all time. (To be fair, America was in desperate need of a distraction.) Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty’s Best Picture envelope mixup is the best-worst thing to happen to the Oscars in years, but it’s not a mistake they’re eager to repeat; according to a new report, they’re considering a possible solution, which they’ll get around to as soon as they finish exhaustively scrutinizing this tweet.
It was the Best Picture Winner announcement heard ’round the world; for just a brief, hilariously awkward moment in time, when La La Land was erroneously declared the big winner of Oscar night 2017, we forgot all about our current political turmoil and embraced the total madness of Envelopegate. How could such a ridiculous mixup happen? The explanation for the confusion is fairly simple, but, in a twist befitting the ongoing insanity of this whole debacle, the dependable accountants of PricewaterhouseCoopers may have predicted their own error just days before the awards. The plot thickens.
In case you haven’t heard, Margot Robbie is currently filming I, Tonya, a new biopic in which she plays disgraced former figure skating champ Tonya Harding. Although it’s a little disappointing that Anne Hathaway wasn’t cast as Nancy Kerrigan (I mean, come on), Robbie’s new film (which she’s also producing) is still riding high near the top of my most-anticipated list — and a new video from the set really seals the deal.
Way, way back in February 2015, Warner Bros. hired Community vet Rob Schrab to direct The LEGO Movie sequel — a pick fully endorsed by filmmaking Phil Lord and Chris Miller, who are a teensy bit busy working on a certain Star Wars movie, and thus unable to helm the follow-up to their animated blockbuster. Almost two years later (and several months since we last heard anything about the sequel), there’s apparently been a creative shakeup, as Schrab has reportedly left the project and been replaced by the director of Trolls.
The tale as old as time (OK, that’s an exaggeration) is returning to theaters this spring with Disney’s new live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast. With less than two months left to go until the studio’s latest reimagining (and guaranteed box-office hit) arrives, Disney has revealed when we’ll see the new — and final — trailer, and as an added bonus, they’ve thrown in some enchanted motion posters.
If you’ve ever wondered what a Tim Burton movie starring Will Smith would look like, you might find out relatively soon. The actor is reportedly circling a role in Disney’s live-action remake of Dumbo, which Burton has been attached to direct for some time now. After delivering the disappointing one-two punch of Suicide Squad and Collateral Beauty, Smith sure could use a win, and joining Disney’s growing empire of live-action remakes seems like a pretty safe bet.
Today we mourn the loss of Carrie Fisher: Iconic actor, talented author, brilliant script doctor and, most of all, an incomparable force to be reckoned with. There are so many great adjectives you could use to describe Fisher: Uncompromising, unapologetic, fierce, witty, relatable, real, honest. She took all of those qualities and put them to work in her books — from memoirs to novels, Fisher had a knack for telling poignant and painful stories with wit and wisdom. Writing a worthy obituary for one of the best and boldest women on this planet or any other is surely an impossible task…so it’s a good thing that the perfect obit basically already exists, and unsurprisingly, Fisher came up with it herself.
Just as Netflix Instant giveth, so must Netflix Instant taketh away, and while there are plenty of great new titles coming to the streaming giant’s service in January, there’s almost just as many that will expire. Now’s a good time to stop procrastinating and finally get around to checking out some of those 30 For 30 specials, or maybe binge-watch every season Murder, She Wrote (you can knock out 12 seasons of Jessica Fletcher in two weeks, right?). January also sees the exit of teen classics like Bring It On and Sixteen Candles, which sounds like a great Saturday night double feature — but you only have a few more weeks to make that happen.
Disney is taking another one of the many (many, many, many) live-action projects from their growing to-do pile and officially placing it in the queue, as the studio appears to have found a director for their long-developing Cruella project. Like Maleficent, this one offers a bit of a twist, re-imagining the classic 101 Dalmatians story through the eyes of its villain, Cruella De Vil, with Emma Stone set to play the titular role.
Not long after setting Mike DeLuca and Jennifer Todd as showrunners, the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences has officially selected the host of the 2017 Oscars telecast. Drumroll please…oh, forget it, you saw the headline. It’s Jimmy Kimmel, comedian, host of Jimmy Kimmel Live! and, most importantly, the guy who brought you celebrities reading mean tweets about themselves for your entertainment.
Ivan Reitman ain’t afraid of no underwhelming box office numbers. The original Ghostbusters director and producer of this year’s reboot says that despite weak returns for Paul Feig’s film, “there’s going to be many other” movies in the franchise. That statement contradicts a previous report, which indicated that Sony is focusing their energy on the animated Ghostbusters film and a new TV series, while the possibility of a sequel to Feig’s reboot had become very unlikely.
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