Arrest Warrant for Punxsutawney Phil, the Pennsylvania Groundhog

Police in snow swamped New Hampshire are hunting for public enemy #1. Is it an escaped convict? No. Is it a tax evader? Not, even close. The suspect is short, furry with brown eyes and big, pointy teeth. Hey, that sounds like my Uncle Elroy!

Nope, it's Punxsutawney Phil, the Pennsylvania groundhog. Okay, so not really. Merrimack, N.H. is looking to lighten the mood after a series of snowstorms. They posted a gag on their Facebook page asking the public to rat (get it) out Punxsutawney Phil.

What a minute. Didn't Phil predict 6 more weeks of winter? So, what is Phil's crime? He's being charged with failing to disclose that his forecast included 'mountains of snow.'

Police Chief Mark Doyle says he's heard that Phil may be in Canada with Bigfoot. If that's true then my daughter, Tara will want to take her junior BFRO (Bigfoot Research Organization) there.

According to Mark, he's also been spotted in New Orleans with a fistful, I mean pawful, of Mardi Gras beads.

The area has gotten thumped by 3 major storms in 15 days!