Well, here we are in the middle of October and you still haven't bought Halloween candy to hand out yet. It's not like the stores haven't had it on shelves since before summer was even over. It's just that every time you'd go to the store, you'd see it and tell yourself you'd pick some up on your next trip.

Well, if your next trip to the store is this weekend, you might want to buckle down and pick up your Halloween candy because if you don't, chances are good life will happen and then WHAM! Halloween will have arrived and you'll be rushing to the store to get whatever is left and there's a good chance it'll be those decorated mini boxes of raisins. Buy those and you're guaranteed to be the most hated person in the neighborhood unless my kid stops by your house. My kid loves raisins.

This year, don’t let Halloween sneak up on you. Don’t let yourself be the person who hands out raisins. Or any of these.

  • 15


    Just don’t do it. Unless you're expecting an insane number of raisin loving toddlers, or you want to unload a ton of raisins on my boy. In that case, go for it.

  • 14


    I remember when I was a kid and there was a couple who lived by my grandparents who always handed out apples on Halloween. Every year when I'd ring the bell, I'd wonder if it was going to be the year they'd hand out something other than apples. Nope. They were the faithful fruit givers. Every. Single. Year. Don't be that person who causes sadness.

  • 13

    Anything With Hazelnuts

    If you were buying candy for me, I'd beg you to stock up on Ferrero Rocher chocolates with hazelnuts. But, you're not buying for me. If you hand out chocolates with hazelnuts, there's a chance that you'll find them squished in your sidewalk because kids love chocolate with nuts- when squished it looks like poo. And to kids, poo is funny.

  • 12

    Black Licorice

    It's sad to me that so many kids aren't able to appreciate the deliciousness that is black licorice. The will one day, but today isn’t that day.

  • 11

    Almond Joys

    This candy is just disgusting. Seriously, why would you even consider buying Almond Joys? Someone thought it would be a great idea to fill the vending machine at work with a row of Almond Joys. The vending machine is empty except for that one row and not even the desperate-for-food who will eat anything, and I mean anything, won't touch those candy bars.

  • 10

    Wax Bottles

    Oh, my goodness. So much work and so little satisfaction. My jaw hurts just thinking about chewing on them and for what? A drop of juice. Literally a drop.

  • 9

    Good and Plenty

    See #7. Unless you've already bought some. In that case, feel free to drop them off to me because I love Good and Plenty candy. Like, they're my all-time favorite. My son's too. What is wrong with us?!?

  • 8

    Sugar Daddy

    Sugar Daddy candies might be gluten-free, but they're also teeth puller-outters. If you're a parent who feels an anxiety attack coming on after simply thinking about your kid finding one of these in their bag, don't do the same to other parents.

  • 7

    Circus Peanuts

    Circus peanuts are the cheapest, nastiest excuse for a candy. Oh, and they taste like powdered marshmallows, but not the good kind you find in cereal. They're just horrid.My mouth is literally puckering at the just the thought.

  • 6

    Leftover Candy

    Leftover candy canes from last year are NOT acceptable. Have you ever been given a chewy candy cane? I have. Just don't.

  • 5

    Pop Rocks

    If you hand out this candy, you might become the most popular person in the neighborhood with the kids, but not their parents. The parents will hate you because you've created a neighborhood full of bounced-up kids who are all over the place. Well, all over the place more than usual.

  • 4

    Candy Buttons

    Other than my Mom, I’ve never known anyone who genuinely liked this candy. Think about that last time you tried it- you got more paper in your mouth than sugar, didn’t you? And that is why you should run from this candy.

  • 3


    Kids think malt balls are the devil. Maybe it's because after the chocolate is gone, the candy takes on a really strange, almost scratchy texture.

  • 2


    Clearly, this isn't a candy, but I had to add this to the list because some people think it's acceptable to hand these out on Halloween. Unless you're participating in the Teal Pumpkin Project or are a dentist, this is a bad idea.

  • 1

    Those black and orange wrapped peanut butter things

    I’m pretty positive that there's not a living soul who even knows what the name of this candy is. Have you ever noticed that there's no name on the wrapper? This is likely because the candy is so disgusting that no company wants their name associated with it.